Welcome to my blogger page. My professional profile can be found at DeirdreWRussell.wordpress.com and over at LinkedIn.com.
You can also find me at streamofcontinuousness for the fun stuff and fluff....oh and baby pictures.
This blogger page will mostly be devotionals and meditations on scriptures. I'm not promising to be serious here though. I seriously believe that God is Fun.

Enjoy my pages and I hope you come back to visit often.

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Monday, November 30, 2009

thank you jesus

Most of you know that I read the LivingProof Ministries blog. Well Beth asked a very interesting question over there and I realized I needed to post my answer here as well.

She asked-

What are you grateful for that you NEVER thought you would

be grateful for?

Well. That one got me thinking. The usual stuff is easy - health, home, family, Jesus. All the pat answers. Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with being grateful for those things. But what in my life that could be viewed as a negative could I turn on it's head and view as something to be grateful for?

In years past? it would be my infertility that led us to Ginny. Never in a thousand lifetimes would I trade. Ginny has been a hugs blessing. I can never thank God enough.

But what has happened this year? 2009....Alright. The thing I never thought I'd be thankful for in 2009 is that my husband lost his job in August. August 4th as a matter of fact. On my mother's birthday.

I was so sour about it at first. He was my Bible study partner on the way to and from work for 5 years. We loved our commute together. So I was seriously bummed when that ended. I said all the right things. "God will take care of us." "It will be okay" and I meant them. But deep inside, even while I knew God would take care of us, I was resentful. And to be honest, I kinda of imagined that God taking care of us would mean us scraping by on ramen noodles andfinding ways to cut corners on everything.

I envisioned a life of constant restriction. Nothing extra to enable us to help others. No joy. Just getting by.

Apparently that is not what God had in mind.

This has been a blessed 4 months. First, to hear my man say that he wanted to continue his tithe through the end of this 2009 AS IF HE STILL HAD HIS JOB. Wow. I don't know how to be grateful enough to God for sending me Martin. When I think of the background we both come from. The sin, the darkness of our past........and now to see Martin , how much he really does love God, and know that he is the real spiritual head of my house. That in itself is a blessing.

We have also grown in our relationship. Our relationship had gotten lazy. We depended on that commute to keep us connected. We had to learn all over again to find (or MAKE) time for each other.

Martin has gotten to spend lots of time with our baby girl, so that has been good. Ginny is so precious and I'm glad that at least one of us is getting to spend extended amounts of time with her.

Also Martin and other members of my family have been sick and needed lots of time and care this fall. If he had still had a job they likely would have had to let him go because of all the family emergencies we went through. We never had to face that though.

God sent a job opportunity to Martin that he never would have been able to take on if he had been bogged down with his old job.

So spiritual growth, learning, new patterns, time with family......But then there is the financial stuff.

Finances. The big bug-bear. The nightmare of all who are "downsized" in this economy. God has sent us a clear message that we are not to worry. There have been two (not one, but TWO) out of the blue, un-asked for, financial gifts to our family that will, are you ready for this? enable us to continue our tithe all the way to the end of 2010 as if Martin still had his old job. And it wasn't even a question of "if" when the checks came. It was the first thing on Martin's heart and mind. The tithe.

Wow. After all I have been through in my life and put others through, to finally be married to a real Christian MAN OF GOD is just blessing me right down to the tips of my boots.

so there you go. I'm thankful that my husband lost his job.


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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

surrender

Recently my pastor, Dr. Richard Hunter, posted a piece on feeling inadequate.

I wanted to add something to this. Richard, if we were adequate, we would have no need of God.

Lord, I need thee EVERY HOUR. Not just when I acknowledge my overwhelmed-ness, but every hour. Not just when I feel like I can't do this on my own, but every single moment. There is a blessed security in completely surrendering to the fact that God is in charge. Much like when my beautiful baby girl relaxes into my arms.

14 months old 019Ginny can’t spend all her time in my arms. She has to learn to do things on her own. She will eventually grow into a competent adult. But even a competent adult is not enough to stand up against the horrors of this world. Somehow, I need to teach her (and myself) to continually surrender to God. Let Him be in charge. Let Him lift us over the things we know we can’t get over AND over the rough places that we think we could handle on our own.

There is a sweetness in surrender, a peace, an uplifting joy that comes from really knowing that God is in charge. Not in a dictatorial sense, but in a protective, sheltering, loving sense. I don’t see His arms around me as shackles that are keeping me from running free. Instead I see those loving arms like the strong arms of a mommy (or daddy) holding me close because He loves me and enjoys my very presence.

The same way that I can’t get enough of hugging Ginny….God feels even more about me….and you. Don’t believe me? Think I’m off my rocker? Okay. He SAYS so. God’s own words:

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name: you are Mine.
Isaiah 43:1b

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us,
that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
1 John 3:1a

the LORD delights in those who fear* him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love.
Psalm 147:11
(*to me this use of the word “fear” translates as
respect)

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.
I John 3: 16

How much would I do for someone who loves me this much? Anything LORD. Anything. No more holding back. I surrender. All.


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